This week I must say that I am truly stressed out. Next Wednesday my little boy who is not a little boy anymore will be graduating. This year and this week has been stressful. Because he slipped behind in some classes I am here biting my nails off hoping he passes everything he needs to, has all his debts cleared at school and will be able to pull it off-and it is so close. I am hoping, praying that he will do this and mad at myself a little for not staying on him more when it came to getting things done.
It's funny, I do not remember ever not doing what I needed to to graduate. I remember I actually went to summer school to take regular classes so I could have smooth sailing in my actual senior year, and I did. I graduated with honors and had a whole bumch of A's during my senior year since I passed everything the years before. I will admit that I got an occasional D in PE back in junior high because I hated dressing out, but that was just stupid of me.
I did my work in high school and I was organized and in a geeky way I actually liked school. I was one of those people who was sad when it was over. And then I think about my son. As a parent you do all you can for them in all their years of school. You help them and teach them but in the end as they get closer to the Pomp and Circumstance it is their choice. You can only do so much for your kids until you realize that it is them who has to do the work and turn it in and want to pass the class. For so long I would get the progress reports in the mail with a bad mark or two and I would hear..."But mom, it's only a progress report" and I would reply..."Exactly, and you are not making any progress".
My daughter will be in 11th grade next year and I am vowing that I will ensure she does whatever possible to graduate so that when her final week before graduation comes I won't have to bite my nails. I guess kids just do not understand the value of a diploma these days and it baffles me. I remember taking senior pictures and my mom ordered a big 16X20 of me in my cap and gown. She hung that up right in the living room for all to see when they would walk in-I actually think she has it hanging up still in her house in Texas! I was so proud of that picture and felt like I accomplished something so wonderful.
My kids do not understand why I worry and nag them about the importance of graduating. While I think he is going to pull it off if only by the tiniest percentage,I am still stressed out. All I want for my kids is their happiness and their success. A diploma will help to get them there!
And so, I have taken half a day off next Wednesday to get there early to see my first born baby boy graduate from high school. I remember my mom at my graduation ceremony 22 years ago with tears in her eyes after it was all over. While I knew she was proud of me I didn't understand the real meaning of the tears...until now because I am a mom and my baby is there. Congratulations Class of 2012
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