Hearts and Peeps

Wow!  I have come a long, long way.  Tonight I sit here thinking about my future.  While there is some worry about whether or not I can do it, the happiness I feel balances it out and slowly the worry fades away.  The life I looked forward to 19 years ago is done.  It's funny when you meet someone and make them your whole world and everything seems close to perfect you never think it will end.  Little girls don't play Barbies and divorce Ken...but then again Barbie isn't real life.

There is really nothing left to say except it's time to press forward and find my destiny.  I have so many things I have given up throughout the years that I want to pursue.  I long so much to be an accomplished writer.  I have submitted my work to publishers and literary agents and I am not giving up.  Once we give up on our dreams, what's left to hope for, right?  I don't only dream at night, I also dream in the daytime about so many things.

I dream about being happy and I think of how far I have come in just this year.  The happiness I have found seems to illuminate me and make me glow and so many people have commented on how happy I look.  Not only do I look it, I feel it from deep within and it's the greatest feeling I have felt in such a long time.  Each year since about 1997 I vowed that with the start of each January 1st I would make a resolution that that would be my year that brought forth change and happiness.  Each year though I would falter and fall victim to another year of unhappiness.  It is amazing how wonderful life can be when you stand up and realize that you deserve so much more.

Though there are still little shots of worry that flash through my mind, I know that I can do this.  I have come a long way and I have experienced what life should have been like for so long.  I am happy and in a state of peace of mind, things that I was missing for so long.

I can't take all the credit though.  There have been my cheerleaders rooting for me all along.  My kids, my family and my besties and others as well.  I did it but I needed a push, and boy did I get that push! So to you who have been there with me all along I just want to say thank you for being patient with me and letting me do things in my own time.  I knew I could do it...and so did you.

To anyone who is scared to do something in life because you are scared of change, I would tell you to listen to your heart, and when that doesn't work...listen to your people.