So today I did something that was weird...I changed my name on facebook back to what my name was in the first week of September 1995...Morales. So...for those of you who are looking for me as Kitchen, you won't find me there. I am finally going to say to you all if you don't know that I am in the process of going through a divorce.
Whenever you hear celebrities file for divorce their reps always issue statements to the press and public about how this is a difficult time and we should honor their privacy. I now know what that means. See, unless you are someone close to me who I choose to tell I post metaphor type blogs that people understand, though some don't.
I have chosen to move on in my life and do what is best for all involved and I will definately admit that it is sad and a hard thing to do, but life is too short to live unhappy and I finally got that. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but unless you really know the situation inside and out it's hard to really gauge.
I lived a lot of years being sad and unhappy and as Ant's boy DJ Rowdy A said, "Life is too short...you only live once." I want to live my life knowing I did all that I could to be happy. I promised myself that 2012 was going to be different and I was going to be positive and happy and I have to tell you that so far it has been phenomenal. I wake up smiling, I go to bed smiling and I smile in between as well. Though this whole process is crazy and hard at times I am not going to let it get in my way of being happy.
I have had so many people in a certain place question me and my intentions of this process that instead of leaving there feeling good, I feel sad and guilty of my decisions to move on in my life happier than I have been in so many years. Honor my privacy? No, you don't have to do that, but at least honor my decision and smile when you see how happy I am. I may not be perfect, but really...who is?
John 8:7 says: He said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Life is meant to be lived and we all take different paths and though the path may be different from your own or your idea of what others paths may be, it isn't yours to take.
Unless I ask for your advice or if you are my closest friends and family who give me their advice no matter what, just know that I am in a better place, a happy place. Am I going straight to hell, who knows. I hope not. I'm still the same me. I teach sunday school and love it, I still listen to KSGN, I haven't dropped out of church entirely and yes, I still believe. Just like the Jennifer Lopez song titled UNTIL IT BEATS NO MORE says..."I'm alive, I can breathe, I can feel, I believe and there ain't no doubt about it it's love and I have found it feel the beat again, stronger than before, I'm gonna give you my heart until it beats no more." That's how I feel.
I have realized that life is given to us as a gift from God each day and we should live it and be happy and no matter what happens we should be at peace with ourselves and our decisions because the only person we really have to answer to in the end is the big guy upstairs.
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