It seems as though the last few weeks I have been awakened from this deep sleep I have been in for the last 19 years. It's like I was hypnotized and all of a sudden someone snapped their fingers and I woke up. It's funny when you are so used to living a certain way that you become immune to all the things that aren't right in your life. You put a smile on your face for the outside world to see when it seems as though inside you are dying. You try and make things work until one day you realize that you are not happy and need to do something in your life to make a change.
I have made some changes these last few weeks that have been epic events in my life. While they are life changing for us, I know that they are for the best and in making these changes I have found that life is a gift that we are given by God to enjoy and live as he would want us to, happy.
I feel as I have been given another chance to live life and enjoy things again. I have laughed more these last two weeks more than I have laughed in the last few years. It is amazing how wonderful life can be when you allow yourself to smile and really feel it deep within.
I find myself waking up with a smile on my face and going to bed wearing the same smile. I find myself stargazing more and appreciating things we take for granted everyday. I guess I would describe it as the movie Pleasantville where everything was in black and white and then as two people are driving in a car and Etta James' AT LAST is playing in the background colors start to appear. I feel like all I have been noticing is all the vibrant colors in front of me.
People are scared of change. I know I was for so long, and I still am. I don't know what my future will bring but I am placing my trust in God and know that he will provide all I need to get through whatever comes my way. And in the process I am happy once again.
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