It's been a rough week here at my house. My son's best friend passed away in a tragic and sad accident last Sunday morning. Yesterday we attended his funeral. It was the nost sad and heartbreaking funeral I have ever been to. This young man was so popular and well known as he was a very talented dancer and DJ. He made an impact on so many lives both young and old. I never got the opportunity to meet him but the stories I have heard and his video blogs have inspired me so much.
For adults we may have been to at least one or two funerals if not more in our lives, but as teenagers it is not a common thing. Add to the factor of having an open casket of someone they adored and it makes it worse.Then there was a video of him along with a song he wrote and performed. It was hard. It was hard to watch his mother lose it and as a mother I felt so much pain and heartbreak for her. The way she kissed his head and talked to him as if he was still here. I watched my son cry and I cried a lot too. I still go back to thinking of how Anthony so wanted to go on that trip but I wouldn't let him because it was too far. Oh how thankful I am to God that he is still here.
It's hard when anyone we love is taken from us, especially if they are so young. For older people who die you hear people say "Oh they had a good life". Saying goodbye is never easy, never. I have lost family members and friends in my life and I would have to say I have probably been to at least 15 funerals. The truth is that we all have to die and only God knows when. I remember my dad being diagnosed with heart disease and they gave him about five years to live so every year he would count down. I used to get so mad and tell him that only God knew.
No, my dad isn't here anymore, I lost him in 2005. It's hard to imagine that he has already been gone six years. I have his picture up on my wall and so I usually wake up to him looking at me, perhaps that's why I feel like he is still here. The week he died, I did not think I was going to make it. It was so hard and I cried every day. I sat looking at his pictures and listening to the Cd we played at his memorial. Someone told me that that was not a good idea as I was only making myself sad. I didn't care though because it was my process I had to go through to heal.
I see my son get a little better each day but he is going through the motions and going through his healing process. He watches his friends video blogs, listens to his music mixes and has stuck DJ Rowdy A stickers on places I would usually get mad at, but I can't. Goodbyes are never easy and it seems cruel that the world goes on even though it seems that your heart can't.
Something we have all heard before but now nags at my heart is that you only live once and life is too short. Find something you love and just do it. If there is something in your life you have to do to find happiness or love then do it. Say I love you if you do and forgive. Live a happy, positive and fulfilling life. God gifts us each a gift, use it and be happy. Don't wait until it is too late and you're saying goodbye...
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