Ok, so when I was in high school or perhaps it was junior high, the cheerleaders had this cheer that went..."Be agressive, be be agressive. It was annoying and their cheerful smiles and stiff body formations made me want to be agressive and knock them down. But when I was thinking about the blog I am bringing you this evening, it's all I could think about because I hear the title of this blog so much it reminded me of those annoying cheerleaders. So...be a parent, what the heck does she mean by that you may ask. Pull up a chair, I have lots to say.
When I had my kids I thought the terrible two's would be the worst. Oh of course I knew that they would grow up to be bratty tweens and then teenagers with an attitude but I thought that would be a breeze. I was wrong. Most of the time it usually is one of the kids who are pushing all the right buttons here at home and half of the time they are pushing them buttons I am at work or somewhere else far far away. If or shall I say when a fight ensues it involves all three of my kids...oh did I mention I only have two kids...ladies, I will let you draw your conclusions of who the other kid is, you know who I mean!
Here is usually how the scenario goes. A fight breaks out, yell, yell, yell, talk crap, yell, yell, accuse, yell yell blah blah blah. Then I pull up and walk into the warzone. It's a race between all of them to see who can get to me first to tell me their side or because of technology I will get a pre-show via text message. They will tell me their side, he will tell me his but not before more blah blah blah. See I guess that's not really how the fighting sounds but I am getting really good at tuning them all out and thinking of other things entirely while it looks as though I am actually paying attention.
So the kids tell me their side and then it's his turn. As he is trying to tell me why he is the good guy and they are the villains, they will still be yelling at each other saying things like..."Don'tbelieve him mom!" I guess so long ago I used to actually listen until the battles that were not my own became mine when I started hearing.."You need to be a parent and do something. There goes that stupid cheer in my head but this time I can hear Be a parent be be a parent. I am a parent and it's apparent to me that someone actually needs to listen to that advice.
Since when did I become the one who disciplines for everything when half the fights happen when I'm not home. Why should I punish them about fighting about the computer when he let them get on after we agreed it wasn't going to happen and then I get told "Be a parent and do something"...are you kidding me? Then he pulls out the file cabinet in his brain and starts pointing fingers at me about kid situations from back in the archives. Kinda goes like this..."Yes I let them go on for two minutes, but last season of MTV she watched every episode of Jersey Shore when I asked you not to let her. Ok...I get it! I am not perfect and yes I let her watch Snooki getting punched in the face but the difference is, I accept that wrong and take the blame for it without saying "Yes I did it but you did X, Y and Z! Why oh why do people have to go on and on...just shut up, or as Adri says..."I prefer be quiet"
My BFF Frankie and I were discussing this just the other day and we both agreed it's like OK!!!!Get over it already. We are parents stop pointing fingers at us because you're not the parents we are. Here's the thing...If the kids are with me and make me mad I will be the parent and discipliner...is that a word? When you're there with them YOU be the parent and discipline them. So here I stand like one of those annoying cheerleaders and I'm cheering the words back to you...YOU be a parent, be be a parent and stop telling me to be something I do wonderfully!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
My Senior Moment at 38
So today I had a senior moment...and I'm not even 40. No, this senior moment was when I stood outside watching my boy walk to school, his last year of high school...it is him that's a Senior and I couldn't help but to get teary eyed as I stood there.
It seems like just yesterday that I was pregnant with my baby boy. All at once he grew up before my eyes. I remember when I couldn't wait for him to start talking so we could communicate. Then he started talking and wouldn't be quiet. I remember when my daughter was born and he used to pull the blanket around with her on it.
Where did the time go? I remember him sleeping in our bed with us when he was so little. I remember him standing at the front door of his daycare screaming when I had to leave him to go to work. I remember those younger years. I remember buying him clothes from wherever they had cute clothes and shoes from Payless, boy I sometimes miss those inexpensive days.
Then came the school years. I have this picture of Ant holding his lunchpail in front of his Kindergarten class and smiling where you could see all his teeth, it's an adorable picture. Then began the years of overprotective mother who volunteered in the class just to be close to her baby. I went through so much in school with him I felt like I was there attending school right there with him.
I remember watching his middle school graduation and being so proud, I can only imagine how proud I will be in June. It seems like I just graduated not too long ago, wow, its hard to believe that was 21 years ago.
So as I get ready to take him to take his Senior pictures soon I sit in awe that I have this wonderful and sometimes annoying son who has brought nothing but joy to my life. We have our ups and downs but I am so grateful every day that God blessed us with this wonderful boy who with hard work and motivation I know will graduate.
I miss that little baby boy I used to hold in my arms, but now my baby boy is a handsome and charming young man who when I am sad or just because ...he holds me in his arms. I love you Ant! Class of 2012!
It seems like just yesterday that I was pregnant with my baby boy. All at once he grew up before my eyes. I remember when I couldn't wait for him to start talking so we could communicate. Then he started talking and wouldn't be quiet. I remember when my daughter was born and he used to pull the blanket around with her on it.
Where did the time go? I remember him sleeping in our bed with us when he was so little. I remember him standing at the front door of his daycare screaming when I had to leave him to go to work. I remember those younger years. I remember buying him clothes from wherever they had cute clothes and shoes from Payless, boy I sometimes miss those inexpensive days.
Then came the school years. I have this picture of Ant holding his lunchpail in front of his Kindergarten class and smiling where you could see all his teeth, it's an adorable picture. Then began the years of overprotective mother who volunteered in the class just to be close to her baby. I went through so much in school with him I felt like I was there attending school right there with him.
I remember watching his middle school graduation and being so proud, I can only imagine how proud I will be in June. It seems like I just graduated not too long ago, wow, its hard to believe that was 21 years ago.
So as I get ready to take him to take his Senior pictures soon I sit in awe that I have this wonderful and sometimes annoying son who has brought nothing but joy to my life. We have our ups and downs but I am so grateful every day that God blessed us with this wonderful boy who with hard work and motivation I know will graduate.
I miss that little baby boy I used to hold in my arms, but now my baby boy is a handsome and charming young man who when I am sad or just because ...he holds me in his arms. I love you Ant! Class of 2012!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Manny and Banana Pudding...
So this weekend I was craving my Dad's famous banana pudding that he so lovingly poured his heart into whenever he made it. I used to watch him stir it while it cooked on the stove careful to not let the heat get too high so it wouldn't burn. Then he would place each banana slice carefully on a nilla wafer and layer it with his pudding. It was heaven and it was only logical that he would eventually teach me how to make it too. Tonight after church I decided I would make it. It wasn't until I was carefully stirring it just like my dad used to when it hit me...today is August 7th.
It was like my dad was telling me "Hey pumpkin seed, make banana pudding and think of me." Today 6 years ago was the last time that I ever would talk to my Daddy ever again. I remember that day so vividly. The kids and I got dropped off at his new little apartment to spend the day with him. We stocked up his cupboards with groceries. I made him chorizo and eggs, we went for a walk, Adri danced for him. He told us all how much he loved us. We laughed, we talked and most of all me and my kids loved my dad and he loved us. When we left that day I kissed him the top of his head and rushed out after I told him I would call him later. He knew I was taking the bus and called me a little while later to check on us. He told me thank you for spending the day with him and we said I love you to each other.
The next day I would learn that my Daddy went home to be with God whom he spent any of his free time learning about. It gives me peace knowing that he is in Heaven watching over us all. My dad had a bad heart and pretty much a bad body that just couldn't take the pain anymore. It was his time to go.
I thought that I would never smile or laugh again, it hurt me so much to lose the first man in my life. He was not only my dad but also one of my best friends. He reasoned with me and loved me. He taught me and protected me. He was my perfect dad. Of course growing up I didn't always think that. There were times that we did not agree and that I would be mad at him, but through it all we always understood and respected each other and I was a Daddy's girl.
He always wanted what was best for me but was flexible in putting my happiness first. He went without sometimes so we didn't have to. He made me laugh and he made me cry but most importantly he was instrumental in making me what I am today.
I know that he lives in my heart. When I was younger I used to tell him I didn't want him to die and he told me that he would always be alive in my heart and that no matter what I could always talk to him and he would be right there.
So tonight as I stirred my pudding that my dad somehow wanted me to make tonight I cried. It hit me all at once and I cried. As the tears rolled down my face, my boy, his grandson asked me what was wrong and I told him I missed my dad and it was the day before he died. He put his arm around me and told me it was ok. My dad loved my kids but he and my boy were very close. I knew at that moment in the kitchen tonight my dad was there with us and that pudding.
I went outside and cried a little more and talked to my dad and to God and I thanked God for giving me the 33 years I had with my dad. Everyday I miss him but time has let me laugh and smile again like I never thought I would. I told my dad if he was there with me at that moment to give me a sign and immediately it was as if I could feel his face trying to tickle the back of my neck like he used to do. He made me laugh again and I cried.
Dad would have been 70 next year and though I wish I had more time with him I know his life was good. I know he had a personal and spiritual relationship with Jesus and I know he's in Heaven, and always in my heart just like he promised.
I miss you Manny every day and I know one day I will see you again. My love for you will never die even though you had to. This banana pudding is for you-always in my heart Daddy.
It was like my dad was telling me "Hey pumpkin seed, make banana pudding and think of me." Today 6 years ago was the last time that I ever would talk to my Daddy ever again. I remember that day so vividly. The kids and I got dropped off at his new little apartment to spend the day with him. We stocked up his cupboards with groceries. I made him chorizo and eggs, we went for a walk, Adri danced for him. He told us all how much he loved us. We laughed, we talked and most of all me and my kids loved my dad and he loved us. When we left that day I kissed him the top of his head and rushed out after I told him I would call him later. He knew I was taking the bus and called me a little while later to check on us. He told me thank you for spending the day with him and we said I love you to each other.
The next day I would learn that my Daddy went home to be with God whom he spent any of his free time learning about. It gives me peace knowing that he is in Heaven watching over us all. My dad had a bad heart and pretty much a bad body that just couldn't take the pain anymore. It was his time to go.
I thought that I would never smile or laugh again, it hurt me so much to lose the first man in my life. He was not only my dad but also one of my best friends. He reasoned with me and loved me. He taught me and protected me. He was my perfect dad. Of course growing up I didn't always think that. There were times that we did not agree and that I would be mad at him, but through it all we always understood and respected each other and I was a Daddy's girl.
He always wanted what was best for me but was flexible in putting my happiness first. He went without sometimes so we didn't have to. He made me laugh and he made me cry but most importantly he was instrumental in making me what I am today.
I know that he lives in my heart. When I was younger I used to tell him I didn't want him to die and he told me that he would always be alive in my heart and that no matter what I could always talk to him and he would be right there.
So tonight as I stirred my pudding that my dad somehow wanted me to make tonight I cried. It hit me all at once and I cried. As the tears rolled down my face, my boy, his grandson asked me what was wrong and I told him I missed my dad and it was the day before he died. He put his arm around me and told me it was ok. My dad loved my kids but he and my boy were very close. I knew at that moment in the kitchen tonight my dad was there with us and that pudding.
I went outside and cried a little more and talked to my dad and to God and I thanked God for giving me the 33 years I had with my dad. Everyday I miss him but time has let me laugh and smile again like I never thought I would. I told my dad if he was there with me at that moment to give me a sign and immediately it was as if I could feel his face trying to tickle the back of my neck like he used to do. He made me laugh again and I cried.
Dad would have been 70 next year and though I wish I had more time with him I know his life was good. I know he had a personal and spiritual relationship with Jesus and I know he's in Heaven, and always in my heart just like he promised.
I miss you Manny every day and I know one day I will see you again. My love for you will never die even though you had to. This banana pudding is for you-always in my heart Daddy.
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