There's a phrase I have heard of that says...GROW WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED. I have been thinking a lot about this phrase lately...grow where I am planted. If I am the one that is to grow I can say that I can't just be one seed, but rather a package of seeds. I am planted in various places where I bloom differently. It's as if my seeds were sprinkled as a sort of science project to see what environments I would grow better in.
Life has seemed to fly by these past few weeks. If it wasn't me having surgery, it was someone else close to me and we are only in March. For years I have been here in this garden with this other "seed". Sometimes when I am growing at my best, it's as if the other seed hates it and then somehow steals all my water to stop me from growing, and so I wither. It's not long though before the water makes it's way back to me and I begin to grow again, the best that I know how while somehow existing with the other one in my garden.
Of course there are others also in my garden to help me grow and I know that they are the reason I keep on growing. Maybe it's them sneaking me the water that makes my flowers so pretty, in fact I know it's them. Again I will tell you that I started to go back to church in August of last year. Since then I have noticed a change in my life that makes me believe that I can do anything and I am a strong person and a good person despite what that other plant in my garden tries to do to stop me from believing that. After I was told that a non-cancerous tumor lives inside my liver, I feel like I am so blessed even more so than I thought before. I was so scared wating for those results, my flower wasn't ready to die completely. Thank God that I was given another chance to stay here and grow in different ways than what I was used to before.
When another medical procedure recently took place for that other plant in my garden, my instincts to help and be there and be supportive kicked in and then I was questioned about it. I realized more what I have known for a long time, that I need to uproot and be in a different garden with all the other flowers that will help me thrive and will love me no matter the weather or the condition of the soil.
My life is taking on so many different new things that I am so proud of and that I love and that make me happy. My kids will be out of high school by 2014 (hopefully!) and I am so proud of them, even though they could sometimes use an attitude and grade adjustment. I started working in the nursery at church and now I have a sunday school class. These things have given me such joy in my life and I feel so happy lately. No, that tumor in my liver does not have cancer, but who knows what will happen in the future. I don't want to live my life where though there are some good days, the majority is sad, and I can't grow to my full potential as God intended.
It's the first week of spring, April showers bring May flowers as my friend Frankie says. My May is coming and I just know that my new flowers will be the prettiest they have ever been.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
I Don't Give A Dish!
Sometimes I am told that I have too much going on and don’t have any time for things I SHOULD be doing like housework for instance. Ok, forgive me, but I work all day long and when I get home I just want to throw myself on the bed and zone out and watch some crazy reality show. If I am not doing that, I am doing something for church. If I am not doing that I am delivering AVON or putting AVON orders together. If I am not doing that I am crocheting a scarf for my sister who is an exclusive member of my “Scarf of the Month” club. If I am not doing that I am out buying and selling jewelry for my jewelry business “Tembi’s Trinket’s”. If I am not doing that it is something else that gets me excited and I feel compelled to do.
The truth is I do have a lot going on, and no matter how crazy busy someone thinks I am to not have time to do things like housework, well…I find time to fit that in too when needed. It is only March, yet this year I have had more medical appointments than I ever wanted in such a short time span. In January I had to have an emergency appendectomy and I was off work for a week trying to get my bloated swollen stomach back to normal size. I couldn’t have done housework even if I tried. Then a few weeks ago my doctor called and told me that when the CT scan was done for my appendix, they found a spot on my liver that needed to get tested. There was a chance it could have been cancer. Getting that news sparked something inside of me that made things like doing the everyday housework seem so unimportant. Now don’t get me wrong, my house is not a total disaster. Like a lot of households you can find a few dishes in the sink on any given day, there may some shoes or some clothes lying around, but there is nothing that is so awful it would qualify me to be on an episode of Hoarders, not even close.
I don’t want to be the typical wife from old TV sitcoms who stay at home and act like they are happy doing housework. Perhaps this would and does make some people happy, but not me. I have to keep myself busy and doing things that I enjoy, and why shouldn’t I enjoy my life? I work hard every day and I try and fit time in for everything and for those that want to be around me.
Yesterday I offered myself up and volunteered to teach a Sunday school class and I was really happy about it. That’s just one more thing to make me happy and that will give me joy in my life while I am here for however long. I did receive the results back from the doctor and it was good news. No cancer, just a tumor in my liver that has to be monitored from time to time…thank God! So you know what? I say let the housework sit for a little longer, it will still be there and it will get done when I’m not doing something that makes me just a little happier than washing a dish.
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