Tonight I have a sense of relief as I sit here back on my blog and I feel like I am home again, I have really missed my blog! Between planning Christmas parties, work and bringing Christmas jolliness home, I haven't had much time to dedicate to my writing, so to you my followers, I am sorry...but I am back! Well, I say I'm back as I try and write this in between some crazy pop up saying my computer is infected with 38 viruses and I should run the system tool. So I think, yes of course, run the system tool, I don't want to be infected and then I get a message saying it is only $60 and how do I want to pay. So I have been clicking on a button that says run unprotected, so for now it is working...cross your fingers.
So tomorrow is my flex day and I am happy to be off. Finally I can start Christmas shopping...yes, you heard me right i did say START. I told you I have been very busy! I went to the mall yesterday and my head started spinning, I really hate crowds, they make me crazy and claustrophobic. My plans were to have three days off, work one day and have six days off. What was I thinking? So...ask and you shall receive...and I did! I got approved to have Monday off as well and it all feels surreal. I feel elated yet still so overwhelmed because Christmas looms closer every day!
It is hard to believe Christmas is going to be here in a week, I mean we haven't even put up Christmas lights and my living room isn't a room I can sit in in awe of my great Christmas tree. It looks like a dump truck dumped off remnants of wrapping paper, presents and holiday crap waiting for me to put it all together like I am friggin Martha Stewart...I'm not!
Add into everything the fact that today also began Christmas vacation for the kids. I have already been asked what we're doing tomorrow and if I could take them and their friends here and there as if I am a taxi. I am sure that when the time comes for me to go back to work after Christmas, I will practically run there because by then I will have had enough and yearn for the peace and quiet my office mostly offers.
I sit here asking myelf how did we get here? How did this year pass right before our eyes? It seems like just yesterday I was throwing last year's tree outside to be recycled or that another school year was starting and the kids began their Junior and Freshman years. Wasn't my daughter just telling me how scared she was to go into high school?
Like it or not, it's here. This time next week we will be grocery shopping for our Christmas feasts, adding the final touches to decor around the house, shopping for that person we forgot about. Sometimes I have to just stop for a few minutes and remember why we have Christmas at all and that what really matters can't be found in stores. We can buy all the things in the world for our families but as Frankie tells me, "They're just things". She's right.
I am ready to make my trip to Riverside to spend my fifteen minutes at my Dad's grave wishing that he wa here with me instead. I would give up any present just to tell him I love him one last time. I would throw out my Chritmas tree just to hug my Mom right now. Texas has never felt so far away...ok Mom...stop crying!
Yes my Mom is reading this, she has always been one of my fans, way before this blog was even a twinkle in my eye.
So yes, while I am happy that I am on vacation and I can start getting in the Chritmas spirit, there are the loved ones I miss and wish they were with me. I must be getting older now. I appreciate so much more and the things my Mom told me would matter one day...do. I don't care if I get anything for Chritmas as long as my kids are happy and healthy and we're all ok. Now I know what my Mom was talking about and I just want to tell her thank you.
Okay so tomorrow starts my countdown to Christmas. Up at 5am to bake for husband's co-workers. Breakfast with husband for 17 year anniverary. Bank. Cake shopping. Christmas shopping. Church volunteering. I am exhauted already!
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