Remembering The First Time

Oh my goodness…as it gets closer to Thanksgiving, my heart is beginning to race.  There is always one thing that I look forward to every Thanksgiving morning.  I open my eyes, jump out of bed and scramble to get the morning paper.  No, I am not interested to read about the County’s latest scandal what I am interested in is Black Friday ads. 

I don’t know about you but I absolutely love Black Friday!  There is just something about waking up at 2:00 am to stand outside in the cold in a way too long line that brings a sense of excitement to my life.  It all started in the late 90’s when I met one of my wonderful friends; I will call her T2 (she knows who she is).  It was her that introduced me to the whole craziness of it all.  I told her I had never done it and she was shocked and decided that it was going to be her to take my Black Friday virginity. 

I remember that first time I woke up so early in the morning to go on an adventure I had only heard about and seen crazy footage of on the evening news.  I felt like I was on some secret mission and my adrenaline pumped through me like a girl on her first date.  I had laid out my clothes in the living room the night before so I wouldn’t wake anybody up, I mean I even had earrings.  T2 called me on Thanksgiving night and we mapped out our plan of where we were going to go and what we wanted from all those ads that were sent to us. 

After my alarm went off I quickly got ready, put my makeup on and did my hair.  I had a big jacket and a blanket and I was ready to go.  I anxiously waited by the window for her to pull up and when she did I almost peed my pants!  OMG! OMG!  We went to get a big tall cup of coffee to go and we were on our way.  We pulled up to the store and I was amazed at how many people were already in line, I even saw some tents, man, these people were serious.  We got our chairs, our sale ads, our blankets and of course our coffee and strolled to the end of the line where we would not be the last brave shoppers.  We laughed, looked through the ads over and over and mapped out our plan of what we wanted, who was getting what and the time it was going to take us.  As the darkness slowly began to fade and the store opening grew near we packed up our stuff and she took it all to the car as I saved our place in line.  Now my body was numb from the coldness and I was doing kegel exercises just so I wouldn’t pee my pants from all that darn coffee.  Everyone was getting anxious and then finally like magic, the doors must have opened because our line began to move. 

I still can’t believe that even after seeing so many people in line, there were some that still tried to go straight to the front, how crazy can you be?  I mean didn’t they want to keep living?  Once we were in we rushed to separate parts of the store searching for where we thought things would be making sure to keep in touch using the walkie talkies that belonged to her and informing each other where to get in line.  I have to say that was one of the best shopping memories I have.  She was so good at what she did that we were out of there within 20 minutes, and then on to the next store.

 By 9:00 am when most people were just waking up stuffed from eating all day on Thanksgiving, we had gone out, fought the crowds, and conquered Black Friday!  We ended it nicely with a Grand Slam from Denny’s and then it was over until the next year.  We went on to shop together for about three more years after that and then we stopped.  I still continued to go shopping and dragged the kids out with me but it was never as early as I had done with T2 and never quite as crazy.  Not to mention because they wanted to go, I could never shop for the kids.  I hadn’t yet planned on my exact plans for this year until just about a week ago when T2 posted a message on my facebook wall that brought back all that adrenaline from way back when asking if I was up for yet another adventure .  I can’t wait for my alarm clock to sound on Friday morning as I look forward to Black Friday crazy with my old friend T2.  I guess it’s true what they say, you never forget your first!

My Thankful List

This week is Thanksgiving and I am negative so much of the time  that I wanted to be positive and tell you and remind myself of all the things that I am thankful for.  My list is pretty big so I will just list as many as I am hopeful you won't get bored with. 
I am thankful for...(in no particular order)
-God
-My Family (at home, in other towns, in heaven)
-My Home
-Our Jobs
-Food
-Transportation
-Our Health
-Pets
-Sunshine
-Trees
-Television
-Tabloids
-Vineyards
-Cosmo
-Makeup
-Shoes
-Cell Phones
-Frankie
-Potlucks
-Music
-Inspiration
-Love
-Technology
-Boone's Farms
-Anything Red
-Victoria's Secret
-Credit Cards
-Toilets
-Teachers
-Friends
-Talking Parrots
-Laughter
-Carrie Bradshaw
-My Blog
-Justin Bieber-(just checking to see if you're still paying attention)
-Smart People
-Electricity
-Running Water
-Chocolate
-Cheese
-Sweet Tea from McDonald's
-Anbesol
-Dr. Wang
-Dr. Hordynski
-Dr. Mallinger
-Cemeteries
-Oceans
-Church
-Colton
-Hospitals
-Teenage Dreams
-Life
-Paved Streets
-Rum
-Pictures
-Life
-Everything
My list could go on forever, but for all things I have and am lucky enough to have I am truly and extremely grateful.  I may not express it everyday but I know I am lucky and I have so much to be thankful for.  I know that not just around Thanksgiving, but every day God allows me to open my eyes.


-

He's Not My Santa

Yesterday I was out shopping for Christmas, yes, I know, thanksgiving isn't even here yet.  I was feeling quite christmasy even listening to nothing but christmas songs on KOST 103.5.  Then I heard the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".  I started singing along and then I started thinking about my dad.  When I was little, I felt like the luckiest little girl in the world.  While many kids were out at the malls sitting on Santa's lap and telling them what they wanted to find under their tree on christmas morning, I lived with Santa Claus, he was my daddy!
Ok, for those of you who haven't known me since way back when, my dad played Santa Claus.  He had a very elegant looking santa suit that was so nice.  He had a really real looking white beard and hair that had just the right amount of curls.  He had black shoe covers that converted his nice black dress shoes to instant santa boots. And even though my dad was mexican and as brown as can be, he did his makeup so well that he was always thought to be the real thing and caucasian. 
I remember being in the backseat of our car while my mom drove santa claus to his gigs.  He was paid well to show up for twenty to thirty minutes at christmas parties all over the Inland Empire from what I remember.  Me and my mom would it outside in the car and wait patiently.  He was the best traveling Santa around.  I remember sitting there watching him get ready and thinking how lucky I was.  When we would take him to his gigs people would see him in the car and wave.  Little kids would scream out the window what they wanted.  I remember a little mexican boy yelling out he wanted CHIPS.  No, not potato chips, but those were the days of Poncharello and those Highway Patrol episodes we all watched. 
Those are some good memories.When I was in fourth grade we were putting on a christmas play and we needed a Santa Claus.  The boy who was going to play him didn't really want to play him and he didn't have red pants.  So what did I do?  I signed my daddy up and told my teacher Santa would be there.  Everyone was so happy.  I went home and told my dad about his scheduled appearance he was to make.  I remember him being a little annoyed that I did it but I knew he would not let me down.  Imagine everyone's surprise when Santa Claus showed up at my school.  It was magical and  I was not only the happiest but the luckiest girl again. 
As years went on he stopped being Santa Claus.  I don't even know what happened to the suit.  I was at the mall last night and Santa was there.  While he was a good Santa, he wasn't my Santa.  My Santa is up in Heaven playing Santa for all of our loved ones who have left us.  I already bought the little Santa Claus ornament that I buy every year to leave on his gravestone.  Yes, Santa Claus is coming to town, but he's not my Santa.  I miss you Dad!

Calgon, Take Me Away...And Leave Me There!

Ok all of my loyal blog readers; I first want to apologize for what seems like abandoning you for a few days.  Fear not, I have not forgotten about you, life has just been so hectic!  For those of you who don’t talk to me on an everyday basis, I am Party Planner extraordinaire right now…or at least that’s what I tell myself to keep me going.  Within the company I work for, there is a little club who puts activities together for employees and their families.  I am an elected officer of this club. 

So Frankie and I decided that since there will be no company holiday party this year, our little group could arrange something wonderful.  After many meetings and hoop jumping we were successful and now it’s up to about five people to pull it all together and make this a great success.  I have no doubt we can do it though because like I once heard in a movie, I hate to toot my own horn but…beep, beep!  My Officers and Frankie are awesome and I am so excited! 

I have even begun looking for silver or blue dresses with cute heels to match since those are our theme colors.  I mean once the evening is a major success we will be in the spotlight and I can’t look like a frumpy hag, right?  So anyways, that has been a major time taker upper.

Now on to some other thoughts I have been wanting to blog about in my absence…

Why do teenagers insist on being stupid?  I have two-they are 16 and 14.  Though I try my hardest to be Super Mom, it seems, I just can never get there.  I am accused of spoiling my son by my daughter, never disciplining my daughter by my son and oh my how the list goes on, I mean really, my list never ends.  I have a mouthy daughter who could have been the offspring of Tony Soprano.  I also love it when they have friends around and they think they suddenly become invincible.  Now, I don’t know about you but no friend of theirs has ever gotten in the way of me opening a can of whoop a**!  Who do they think they are?  I have heard I am unfair, I hate them, they hate me, and so on and on and on!  It makes me laugh because suddenly when they need me or money they become the greatest kids ever as if I can’t see right through their transparent selves.  If I tell my daughter she can’t have something she screams she is moving to Texas with my Mom, her grandma.  I wish she would!  I know my mama wouldn’t mind either. 

I think back to when I was younger and all that I said to my mom as a teenager.  Mom, if you are reading this, I want to tell you again I am so sorry for being an evil witch at times.  I may have screamed I hated you, but that has never been true and you have always been one of the true loves of my life.  One thing is for sure, I know I would not have tried to get away with all the things that my kids try to.  I said a few choice words and phrases in my teenager time, but it was either under my breath or we had what we called restriction back then.  I know that one day my kids will look back at how they were when they are parents and realize that though life may not have always been peachy keen, it really wasn’t so bad and maybe then they will tell me how much they love me in their blog…right mom?  (Love you Madre Mia!)

LETTING GO

Throughout our lives we all eventually have to let go of something that we care about.  Death, marriages, jobs, homes and relationships are just some of the many things we let go of throughout the course of our lives.  If you are anything like me, I find it very hard to let go of things that mean anything to me.  I have said goodbye to people in my life as they were taken too soon, and while we can do nothing but let go, we hold on with our hearts and thoughts. 
It took me a good year to completely slowly let go of my dad after he died.  I had things that belonged to him that I kept in a rubbermaid container.  If someone even went near the box I freaked out.  I opened the box once in a while to smell his clothes so I wouldn't forget him.  I listened repeatedly to the CD we made for his memorial service.  I didn't and couldn't let go, not for a while.  Fast forward to now, five years later.  I kept a few articles of his clothing and I donated the rest.  Little by little I was able to let go of the things that were keeping me there.  Now I have trinkets of him to make me smile and memories that will never let me forget him.  Those things were just things and I learned how to let go of them.
I have been laid off from jobs and after getting over the what-am-I going-to-do-now feeling, I did what I had to do...move on.  No matter what happens in life we need to remind ourselves that no matter how bad a day can possibly get, the sun will still come up the next day and life will still go on.
Sometimes relationships come to an end for whatever reasons they do.  Perhaps we have been in a marriage that while we tried forever to fix and hold on to, we have finally come to the realization that it just wasn't meant to be and we have to let go and remember the good times and move on to get past the bad.  Maybe we have a friend or a relative with whom we have such a toxic relationhip with we decide we have to cut our ties.  While it may hurt us, we will eventually come to terms with the fact that it's the best thing for us. 
There is no amount of money that peace of mind can buy and lately I have taken this to heart in my life.
The word toxic is a contant word in my life when it comes to relationships.  I have had toxic friendships and family relationships and I have to remind myself that sometimes I have to let go even when some voice inside me reminds me that I care for these people despite our differences.
At church Pastor Jonathan has spoken of letting go and letting God.  So many times we try and control things and do things our way and we wonder and sometimes even question God why things are not going our way.  There are times in my life and I can even say lately for some of them that I think I am letting go of something and then the situation never changes because I do the same thing.  I can never decipher how I am supposed to let go. 
I guess I just have to throw caution to the wind anddo it... let go.  I am only human afterall and nobody telling me I didn't try will change the person I know I am.  Yes, I make mistakes like all of us do, but in the end, I can only do so much.  I am not going to please everyone that steps into my life and they are not going to please me.  Finally I know that letting go is just another part of life and nobody ever said it would be easy.  But I know that the choices I make are mine and will take me to where I need to be because I finally let go.

The Bathroom Diaries

Okay, here is my disclaimer...if you get grossed out about bathroom talk STOP, I warn you STOP reading right now, if not...read on as we explore things that happen in the bathroom.

Okay so what I am about to say are things that perhaps I maybe have experienced or maybe I have just heard about these things while doing bathroom research from others.  I don't know about you, but I use the restroom.  It happens at various times of the day.  If I drink lots of coffee in the morning, I am running to the restroom doing the pee pee dance by ten. If I am out at happy hour I have to excuse myself from friends and family to go sit on a toilet and thinking it's funny because I am usually tipsy by then.  In fact we probably all have funny pee stories...but guess what?  I also have funny poo stories and here is a joke to get us started... Why was Piglet looking in the toilet?  He was looking for poo!  Haha you know you thought that was funny!

Ok so I work in a somewhat large company.  There are lots of restrooms.  There is even one of those restrooms that make us uncomfortable, you know the ones that men or women can use.  It makes me nervous to use these kinds of restrooms.  I always think that the lock won't work and in mid poop someone will walk in and I will be so embarassed and add to it the fact that I wouldn't have had a chance to spray some lemony spray that is supposed to cover up embarassing smells such as this.

Then there are the normal bathroom stalls.  The one nearest to where I work has two stalls.  I am most comfortable when I have alone time in the bathroom.  There is just something about sharing a bathroom with someone only separated by a stall wall that makes me just a little uncomfortable.  Ok so say I am using the restroom other than for liquid reasons.  If I am in there and really have to go with perhaps a few sound effects called farts, someone walking in to use the next stall ruins it.  I mean really, I cannot comfortably and politely fart so what do I usually do?  I squeeze my butt together hoping a fart doesn't escape and usually one does and then I quickly lift up my feet, why you ask.  Because, I love shoes and people know this and they know what my shoes look like.  So I lift up my feet so they won't see my shoes to see whose air fart escaped....call me lame!

And let's face it there are all kinds of crazy things going on where poop is concerned.  Have you ever used the restroom and you know your butt pooped something out but when you turn around to look, there is nothing there.  It's like your poop magically disappeared and it was so heavy it flushed itself down the drain.
Then there is the poop that feels like you are a soft serve ice cream machine...it won't stop coming out!  Have you ever had to use the restroom so bad but couldn't get to one and then when you finally do the second you sit on the toilet it's like a bomb went off in your butt and in the toilet like an explosion!  Ok, Ok then there are the times when you try so hard to go to the bathroom but nothing comes out, you squeeze and push like you are giving birth but even after fifteen minutes there is nothing coming out of your behind.  A little while later something does come out of your butt and then you realize its nothing but a little tiny round nugget and you know there are probably more where that came from and judging from how long it took for the first ball to come out, it will probably take hours for the rest. 

And there is the sticky crap.  You know the kind that comes out easy enough but the last little bit is like some kind of glue so you stand up over the toilet and swing your butt back and forth with the hopes that the sticky crap will swing right outta your butt and into the toilet.  Oh and let's talk about when you are using the restroom and the poop causes a backsplash of water sometimes involving your pee, I know ewww right?

Ok, time to stop talking crap and sign off for now until next time.  You know you are going to the bathroom right now to see what happens!

Searching for Sparkle

This weekend  for the second time,  I watched Sex and the City II .  First of all I would just like to tell you that I am a huge fan of SATC.  I watch episodes from all seasons whenever they come on the air.  I soak up everything from these women from shoes to sexuality to relationships.  In the much anticipated sequel to the first movie Carrie and Big are feeling the effects of getting too comfortable in marriage to the point that sitting on a couch or laying in bed watching TV is making them lose their "Sparkle".   All Carrie wants is to go out with her man and paint the town and have fun away from home and their everyday humdrum life.  Sparkle is in essence what we refer to as going out or having an adventurous life other than the everyday routine stuff.

When we are dating we live the life we think will be forever.  There is wining and dining and romance through the roof.  Not only do we fall in love with the person whom we are involved with, we also fall in love with the motions we go through and that is the sparkle.

When you get married, the sparkle is so bright that the shiny factor almost blinds you.  You are in love and still in lust and everything is all shiny.  But something happens through the years that makes the sparkle diminish.  We have kids, careers and so many other things that block our paths and block any chance of having any kind of sparkle.  Of course there are couples who have everything that would make any sparkle impossible and they are quite happy.  Perhaps they just look happy and sparkly but all they really have is a glimmer. 

Personally the only sparkle I can truly see right now is that of my silver glitter nail polish.  Each day is a touch and go situation and I never know what to expect.  Through all the problems though, there is no denying the fact that we love each other...still.  It isn't easy and we never know where life will even take us the next day or the next ten years.  We have two teenagers and they are like sponges that soak up any time we have.  Sadly, the sparkle I always dreamed of having doesn't really exist.  I get home sometimes and all I want to do is take a long shower and go to bed...sparkle, what's that?

Did you ever notice that when you go out with your significant other all alone just the two of you it seems like everything is perfect and you start to see just a smidgeon of sparkle?  Suddenly as the night comes to an end and you get closer to your home, the sparkle burns out as if it never existed.  It's like when we are away from home we live in this sort of fantasy world where there are no worries, no nagging no nothing that reminds us of what we go through every single day and suddenly, Voila...Sparkle!

I miss the sparkle.  It comes and goes througout the years and I never know when it will show up.  Is anyone ever truly happy with the amount of sparkle they have?  Each day in my book of life I turn the page hoping for it. It's kind of like reading a long drawn out normal novel and then one day you turn the page to a beautiful colorful picture that you were maybe not expecting but always hoping for.

Maybe I have watched so many SATC episodes that my mind only works like theirs.  Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic or maybe just maybe all I want is sparkle.