Today I saw a picture of my son with a girl. They were standing together. But unlike all the pictures up to this point where a girl next to him was just a friend, I got the feeling that times are changing. This week my baby boy who just yesterday was a an eight pound baby sleeping upon my dad's chest turns 16. I'd like to say, where did the time go, but I can't. Each day that passes is another day of our lives that we mostly take for granted. Then, years from now we seem to ask ourselves that question...where did the time go.
Time with kids goes in cycles. At first they are born, your little babies are here. You love them and love the attention of the new baby. Then the novelty wears off and reality sets in. You lose sleep because they won't sleep through the night. You wish they could walk so you wouldn't have to carry them. You wish they could tak so they could tell you what is wrong with them. Then all of it happens and they start to drive you crazy. They sleep through the night then make you late because they don't want to get up. They walk and get into everything. They start talking and become a human motor mouth and you just want to tell them to shut up. That's when you start to wish for the easier days of when they were babies.
The teen years come and they are messed up. Life with a teen is a total wild card and you never know what you are going to get on any given day. I have a boy and a girl and I have to say that boys are less drama but nonetheless not completely drama free. My son is caring and loving and tells his sister to behave when she is all kinds of crazy. All it takes though is one thing to set him off. If he asks us for one thing that he can't have and for some crazy reason we say no, he gets all kinds of crazy and suddenly the mom he just told he loves is his worst enemy all of a sudden. With him though, he walks away and is better within minutes...and I cannot say the same for my daughter.
She is like me but a mini version. If I am mad about something, so is she. I could be mad at the lady in Wal-Mart for forgetting to scan the water at the bottom of my basket even though I reminded her five times and my daughter will go on and on about how Wal-Mart is stupid. I can say things like..."I hope your dad remembers to pay the gas bill" and she will remind him for me. She worries like me, has a temper like me and is strong like me. I must admit, my daughter is bad ass and is down for her mama and I love that about her but her name should have been drama, but perhaps that is just what comes with being a teenager.
I remember being a teenager and being in love with boys that did not even know I existed. I remember not liking my parents and hating stupid things that they did even though now, they sound funny and are things I would probably do with my own kids. For example when I would be outside with friends and my mom wanted me to come inside she would never come and tell me, that would make her look dumb. Instead she just flicked the light on and off to annoy the hell out of me...it worked. My parents would sing on microphones to Elvis and Patsy Cline on this big homemade Karaoke type thing we called Big Bertha. I can still hear my mom's voice ringing in my ears...." IIIIIIIII faaaaaallllll tooooooo pieeeeeeeeces"..oh mama you did love you some Patsy! These are things I would probably do with my kids and looking back, I know my parents were just trying to cope with the teenage years and keep from going crazy...just like us now.
I try and get through each day as a good parent and I try to be understanding. I pray a lot for God to give me strength to handle it all and so far so good. I am constantly crossing my fingers and hoping for the best for them and the decisions they will make that shape their lives. It's funny because I know my mom is still praying for our decisions and that we make the right ones even though we are all far from our teen years. I guess I just have to realize that life belongs to those that live it. You can't tell me how to live my life and I can't tell you how to live yours, even though we may try. It's funny how life works out sometimes. When you are young your parents get on your nerves. Then you get old and you wish you could go back to the days of crawling up in between your mom and dad like you did when you were little and had nightmares. You have kids of your own who try to pull all the things you used to try and get away with. You vow to raise your kids differently than how your parents raised you, but all of it goes out the window and you realize you are just like your parents.
I doubt that will be the last girl my son takes a picture with. I know that love will come and go for each of my kids. I am sure there will be emotional messes, heartbreak, tears and happiness as well. I am ready for all of it and I will be here waiting. armed with the two phrases that will make them feel better...I love you and It will be Okay...just like my mama and daddy did for me. Yet still we wonder...where did the time go...
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