That was the name of the sermon today at my church-Colton First Assembly of God. It's funny, my Pastor seems to be somehow connected to my thoughts or things that I am going through in life. It's as if he knows what I need said to me exactly when I need it, but then again, I know it's God who's speaking through him to me and the many others there in the church. Today he told us what he would do if he knew today was his last day alive. It really stirred my thoughts and touched my heart. He said that nobody is promised five years, five months or even the next five minutes and that nobody knows when their last day will be. How true that is.
Just a few days ago a very dear friend of my family passed away suddenly. It broke a lot of hearts and brought a lot of tears, many of which I know are still flowing. When someone dies we either tell the survivors of that someone or we hear it if we are the survivors that they are in a better place now. While that may be true, it does not help the fact that we wish they were still here with us. It hurts so much to lose someone in our lives. When my Dad died suddenly it all seemed like a bad dream that went so fast. Decisions had to be made, people sent gifts and cards and called to check if I was ok. What do you say when they ask you that? Shouldn't they know that it seems like your world just crashed and has ended? You go through a few days of shock and depression. You play old songs that remind you of them and make you cry over and over. You think it's all helping you to move ahead, but in reality it's bittersweet torture. Each day gets easier and in a sense you know you have to stand up and be strong. It is what your loved one would have wanted and you want to do everything to make them proud.
It has been five years and a few months since my Dad left us here on earth while he passed on to figure out what to do with the rest of our lives. When I was young I knew one day we would all have to die and I told him I was scared that he and my Mom would die one day. He explained to me that everyone had to die one day but that when we did we would all meet again in Heaven if we believed in God and led a good life that would get us to Heaven. He also told me that he would always live in my heart. I know he lives there. I talk to him or think about him every day. The memories of him remain in my heart and my mind and they keep me going when I feel like there's a hole in my heart. Pastor said today that his Mom used to tell he and his siblings that if it should be the last time they see each other to meet her in Heaven on Hallelujah Avenue and Glory Lane, it made me smile.
Sometimes I wonder when my last day on earth will be and I came home today thinking that if today was my last day alive what would I do. Of course I would spend it with my family telling them how much I loved them. I would tell them the same thing that got me through the tough days, that I would live in their hearts forever. I would like to tell them that I would be waiting there for them in Heaven and I would hope that though I have not been a complete saint in my life, that I would at least have done enough good and made God proud enough to let me join him and the ones who have gone before me. I would also tell my family to do good in their lives so they would be promised a place in Heaven too. I spent time with my kids today and sat on the porch while drinking a glass of wine and watching my son and husband play soccer and wrestle together. A few tears fell down my face. Here we are taking our lives for granted and in in another home a young father and husband left earth way too early and won't be here for the many things that mean so much in life. It breaks my heart personally and for all the people who have lost someone.
I get sad and can't help but to wonder what God's plan is for me. Am I in the place where I am meant to be? Should I put on a smile on days I am not happy? We've been faced with the realization that life is too short to be unhappy and to not take life for granted. You never know when your last day alive will be. So I would like to remind you all to find your happiness, show and know love and be where you should spiritually so that one day in another place we'll find each other again on Hallelujah Avenue and Glory Lane.
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