THE GIRLS

Ok, today's blog topic...boobage!  Ladies, you know what I am talking about.  We call them our girls amongst other things.  They are one of the key elements we go by when shopping for clothes, because our boobage is like an accesory and we need to make them look good, and all you ladies know what I am talking about.

I remember my boobies growing at record speed when I was younger.  I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if they were a normal shape for a pre-teen girl.  I remember them being quite pointy and it was embarrasing.  I remember one time when Frankie told me she thought I stuffed my bra because my boobs were bigger than usual.  I told her I swore they were mine and I would show her in the bathroom at recess.  Luckily she declined, can you imagine how that conversation would have gone?

So anyways, I grew into my boobies and eventually they became quite round and definately not the smallest size.  Of course you get the looks from guys with some wanted and even unwanted attention but it is all a part of a day in the life of boobies.  I watch shows on TV where girls flock ro Beverly Hills seeking out the best plastic surgeons to do all kinds of boob jobs.  I think for me, I am happy with the size, now if only they could be perkier and more lifted, that's what I want.  I do feel sorry for girls who are small breasted and they think that boobs will make their lives better.  In the end, their souls will go wherever they are destined for and their silicone boobs will look like a water balloon inside a casket of bones, unless you're cremated.  Can you imagine the popping sound that would make...hmmm. perhaps they may take them out to avoid that.

A friend of mine got a boob job where all they had to do was go into her belly button.  What the hell...how does that work.  In any case they came out beautifully and my friend loves them.  When she first got them she was allowing our female co-workers to go look and even touch them.  I declined, and it made me remember my offering to Frankie to check to ensure mine were real back in the day. 

I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs.  Sometimes i think they are pretty good,  Those are usually on the perfect days.  You know those days...you have the perfect hair, makeup and outfit that accentuates your girls ever so fabulously.  Your boobies on those days are so great you start to flirt with yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how pretty you are. 

Then there are bad boob days.  These are the days when your best bra doesn't even look good.  Either the underwire is hurting or your boobs are practically hanging to your knees.  Usually your bad boob days follow you to bed as a little reminder that your boobs are not as young as they used to be.  You lay in bed and read a book and suddenly realize that your boobs have fallen off your chest and into your underarm pits...when and how in the hell did that happen??

We try and pick a bra that is sensible yet cute and playful in the slight chance that your other half will get frisky and even notice your bra.  If I have learned something it is that they don't make cute bras for bigger boobies.  They are either white, off white, tan or black, you may find one with a design if you're lucky.  I am ok with buying cheap bras as long as they are in my size.  I'm not hating all you Victoria's Secret bra people but I am just too cheap to buy a bra for $50.  Why do that when I can buy like 7 or 8 for that price. 
Oh yeah and something else that freaks me out about Victoria's Secret is how those cute young perky girls ask me if I need a bra fitting.  That's scary...at least to me!  Recently, I found out how to accurately measure your breast size.  It was an aha moment because I was thinking ...Wow this really works.  I went out and bought the correct bra size and thinks have seemed to PERK up.

The thing that I am not looking forward to in a few years is having a mammogram.  I can't imagine how it must hurt to have your boobs placed between two metal plates and then squeezing the plates together until you cry out in pain.  That should be a great blog!

As much as they make for an interesting topic, they also scare me.  So many women have lost and continue to lose their lives to breast cancer.  So in closing, I would just like to dedicate today's blog to all those brave women who have had to deal with breat cancer.  May the medical world  find a cure and until then we will place you in our prayers.