Why do parents think that if they bribe their children with some kind of good incentive, the kid will fall exactly into their trap. I guess it's because when I was growing up I loved a good incentive. Back in the 80's when I was in my prime of childhood a good bribe from your parents was usaully worth the hassle of doing whatever it was that made my parents happy.
Somehow I thought that would work with a lot of things with my kids. Ok, Ok don't hate me and say I am a bad parent but I usually bribe the kids with money since I don't pay them for chores. In my house I feel like I should not have to pay them for something that I don't get paid for myself. Cleaning your room or taking out the trash is a given and is expected. I figure that when we go out and they want something, I usually get them something they like so they don't need money that way, not to mention, like most kids if they get $20 it is gone by tomorrow.
I used to tell them when they were younger and played soccer that if they got a goal I would give them $1.00, oh my goodness, that was such a wonderful incentive, but now $1.00 means nothing to them so that incentive for anything doesn't work anymore. I figured their grades could be wonderful if I offered them $20 for every A they got. If I was ever offered that opportunity as a kid I would have been the valedictorian! So the year started out great this year for them ...until today.
I was in meetings most of the day and knew it was bad when there were missed calls and text messages on my cell. Some were from the husband and some from the son. Usually when that happens, they have already had a conversation somehow either by text or phonecall and did not agree. It is then they each call me to tell me their sides. I get so mad around report card time. I know that my kids are smart, but all that seems to go out the door when it comes to school and I cannot for the life of me seem to get them to get the picture. Do they not understand that you actually have to work to get a diploma? That was something in my life that I looked forward to. I wanted to make my parents proud and I know that I did. My mom even got a 16X20 print of me in my cap and gown and proudly displayed it on our living room wall. I think she may even have it up still...love her!
All I want is success for my kids, is that such a bad thing to ask for? Why don't kids get it? So here the kids are with D's and F's and they each have an A. Do you know they had the nerve to ask when they would get their $20. Now usually I would have told them I would have their money to them by the weekend, but this mama is sick and tired of these teenagers. I told them that yeah they got one A each but that those F's cancelled out the A. That did not make them too happy, but I am not their mother to make them happy! Then, they always try to say..."Well, those grades don't count, those are just progress reports". Do they not understand that THERE IS NO PROGRESS!
I cannot seem to drill the importance of graduating from high school to them, and it is wearing me out. A parent can only fight so long but when the kids don't care we wonder why we should. Then we tell ourselves that we do it because we love them and a parent never stops believing in their babies, no matter what. So in the end my kids may not like me and probably call me bad names in their heads for blocking their phones and taking things away but one day they will thank me as they are posing for their 16X20 while wearing their cap and gown...at least I hope so!
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