Yesterday I got on the scale at work in our workout room and was sad. I did not feel like what the scale told me. I mean, I even took off my jacket and shoes and I still wasn't satisfied. After I was done weighing myself I put my shoes and jacket on and looked to my right. There on the workout room walls are mirrors the entire length of the room as if to show you that you are fat and to catch all the dissapointment on your face once you step off the scale that just told you how fat you are.
When I complain to people that I am fat, they always try and make me feel better and say no, you're little. I am little but that means short to me, which I am. Even the skinniest person in the world thinks they are fat and each person has a certain goal weight in their head of what their perfgect self should and could be. My goal weight is 105. Now, will I ever be that? I doubt it...but I have hope! Even as we speak I am watching Total Body Sculpt with Gilad. I love him! He is always so enthusiastic as his fit little body works out under a palm tree in front of a Hawaiian beach. I guess my excuse for not getting up and working out right now is that it's my Friday and I have a lot to do, plus I have to write my blog! I also can say that I watch these shows for ideas so I can work out later....hmmm, yeah right!
Afriend at work talked me into becoming a vegetarian like she has done. She also showed me pictures of her daughter in law who lost weight since she has become a vegetarian. I am proud to say that I have been meat free for a week now...go me! What really sucks though is how restaurants telepathically know that you can't eat something so they come out with something new and blast their commercials all the time. I am dying to go to Taco Bell for some cheesy flatbread chicken thingy...but I won't! I can't be tempted!!! Then yesterday I was reminded about a dinner meeting I have to attend. To take the place of my meat I will have dessert, so that won't be too bad, but damn...meat is everywhere.
On Wednesday my friend and I fasted and only had liquids for a full twenty four hours. It was good. I drank more water and saw the restroom at work more than I have in a month! I have to tell you though that my weight is weird because I have a thyroid problem. Unfortunately I do not have the overactive thyroid, I have the underactive one, the lazy one! Yes, I have a prescription of something that is supposed to help this but I am not a faithful pill popper. I told this to my doctor and he asked me why I do not take it everyday and I was totally honest. I told him that when I take my pills like I should, my monthly friend, you know, Mother Nature, comes as it should. I mean it's either I am fat and don't have a period or drop some pounds and wear raggedy underwear for a week while my friend visits me. Hmmmm, I know, I am twisted!
So Gilad is on his cool down now and the waves continue to crash on his beach. My life this last month has faced me with changes that I am making, that are happening in my life, so what better time than now? Maybe I won't have dessert tonight after all. Maybe I will go do my six minute shake weight requirement for ths day...Damn Gilad shutup, I can't think!!! What was I saying? Oh yeah...maybe. Maybe I will drink more water today and maybe I will take that stupid levothyroxin pill so my thyroid won't be so pissed at me. Bring it on Mother Nature...I'm ready to be a skinny bitch!
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