Morning Crazy

At 4:45 in the morning I wake up and depending on the day it's either with a kiss on the forehead or a tapping on my foot.  He leaves for work and depending on my sleep pattern and how we got along from the previous night I either get up to lock the door and say goodbye or I stay in bed for another forty five minutes.  If I decide to get up ,I stumble into the kitchen surveying the mess in the kitchen that I was too tired to clean up last night.  He tells both the kids goodbye and then rushes back through the kitchen repeating the things he takes with him on a daily basis as if going down a mental checklist.  His kisses remind me of pecks all over my face like a chicken would do and they are wet kisses because he just drank milk.  Without him seeing me I wipe my face I mean damn, its early, I am tired and all I want to do is lock the door.   I come to my room and pray for a few minutes thanking God for all I have even when I seem ungrateful. 
I turn on the TV and watch the Lifetime Movie Network and there is usually a movie on about a jilted woman whose husband either cheated on her or wants to kill her or some plot like that.  I put on my clothes and begin my makeup ritual, all this while stopping for a few minutes to get further involved in this lame movie. 
5:50-I hear my son open his door and then go to the restroom to take his shower.  He gets out, finds something to eat and then turns the TV on in the den to watch ESPN.  Time to wake up my daughter who is 14 going on 35.  She either will complain I didn't wake her up in time or she will beg me to let her sleep for 20 more minutes.  Now it's time to change the channel to one of those tv court shows.  The one I watch is usually always trying to establish the paternity of some crazy ghetto couple and I find myself making comments to the tv as if I was the Judge's assistant.  Techno music is now playing in the background and my daughter jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom to turn on her straightener.  She starts complaining that her straightener sucks, she hates school and that the music is too loud.  Honestly I like the music as it is drowning out this fourteen year old bitching! 
Once she is up, I give up all hope to get into the bathroom at least until 7am.  Thankfully I get ready in front of my mirror in my bedroom.  In the background...complaining and techno music...is it too early to ask Calgon to take me away?  Wine, wine is the answer..oh wait I have to go to work...but when I get home...
Around 705 am I begin my rounds around the house to make sure all the lights are off, doors and windows are locked and that mostly everything is unplugged.  I know it sounds really anal but I am paranoid and this is something that just has to be done.  Time to feed the animals.  We have three cats-one that comes and goes and her two grown kittens.  Their names change daily depending on what my daughter feels like calling them, I just am happy that they come when I say here kitty kitty!    I open the window to feed the dogs.  One is a weiner dog, one is a mutt that my daughter found at school and one is a german shepherd Chihuahua.  Now that always makes me laugh when I think about it because can't you just picture how that worked out...hmmmmm.  I give them water, throw out a big pile of food and rush to get going.  My son comes and tells me goodbye and I walk with him outside and watch him walk two doors down to his friend's house.  I know he is 16 but he is still my baby.  He looks back and waves.  I run in the house to the phone ringing.  By now the husband has been at work for two hours and he calls to tell us goodbye. I know that he has good intentions when he does this every morning but as my friend says, The ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.  By now, I am feeling rushed, the guy on the judge show wasn't the father and my daughter has been complaining for an hour.  I am irritable, my son has already left and my daughter's straightener sucks...I am not in the mood to talk to him on the phone...I am a bitch, I know.  I rush to do a second double check , grab my stuff and get my daughter out the door.  I drive her to school even though we live around the corner and my son goes to the very same school and he walks.  Now there is a whole set of new complaints from my daughter, she's gonna be late, I drive too slow, the sun is shining...etc.  By now I am so damn frazzled that I want that glass of wine now!!!!  I drop her off, she slams the door, rolls her eyes as she walks away...and I breathe...Hooray for me, I survived the morning crazy...now time for work!