Last year when Frankie was pregnamt we were walking into work one day. She was busy telling me a story about something I don't remember now when a few other co-workers drove up next to us and rolled next to us as we walked just bugging us and saying things like "Hey-good morning". I thought it was funny at the time but Frankie was pregnant and annoyed that one-they interrupted her story and two-that they would not shut the eff up! She ended up telling them off in a pregnant annoyed way. I don't even remember what she said but I will say she was nice enough not to curse. Later on in the week when we saw that person walking in the halls, she was so nice to him and he looked so scared...or mad. Like nothing had ever happened Frankie said "Why's he so mad". We both laughed and it has become a joke between us whenever we see that person or when someone is mad for no real reason.
Today someone could have looked at me and asked me why I was mad because though I was mad, what real reason did I have? Why was I mad you ask? Because once upon a time someone told me I have so much potential and that I could be so much more than my everyday occupation. I am a vulnerable person and when someone works me up and has me believing in myself I want to believe them and I feel empowered to spread my wings and soar. All of a sudden the same person that empowers you has the same ability to clip your wings as if to say "Um, I'm sorry, you are not allowed to soar, after all you are just a (fill in the blank with your occupation)". Though it was nothing big, it made me feel like I am incapable of doing the smallest task, the baby steps to get to where they told me I could be one day, so why bother, right? Wrong!
I was driving home and I was thinking about things I have heard to help me get up on my own and believe in myself. Who needs anyone to tell me I am great, when I already know that. In training for a job I had many moons ago our trainer told us.."Fake it till you make it" I have always loved that. Sure I may not know what the hell I am doing but I will fake it and make you think I do and I WILL make it one day, not to mention I will look cute doing it! Another quote I heard while listening to Joel Osteen preach to me one Sunday morning is this..."If you complain you will remain". That is so true. Nothing is ever going to happen that I want to happen if I don't do anything about it to better myself.
I have heard that I have missed my calling, have potential to be so much more and have a gift. My family and friends know my love of writing. My friends come to me for decorating help for parties and yet though I am blessed and grateful for all that I do have because of what I do, I feel like my destiny is yet to be reached. My kids listem to this song that says..."I want to be a billionaire, so frickin bad"....you know what, so do I. I would even be happy being a hundred thousandaire.
Maybe one day, no not maybe...One day I will find my true destiny and do something I truly love. I will not have to fake it because I am going to make it and it is then I will say...I remember when I was just a...(whatever my occupation is)!
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